My college-age daughter recently asked if it was okay to “break up” with one of her friends. She listed a few positives in the relationship and then some serious negatives — blaming and complaining without accepting advice, primarily.

I lacked the succinct arguments you present here (though I will share this with her) but gave her the advice to first try to repair the relationship in an honest conversation, explaining the concerns and describing what friendship should look and feel like for you.

She said she had done that, and there hadn’t been any changes.

So I said, of course you can move on. You should be polite about it, and it doesn’t even have to be a big announcement, just schedule things that don’t involve her. Don’t be mean or petty, don’t talk about her to others, just be honest but confident in your boundaries. Maybe she will come back, and maybe she will learn, and maybe not.

However, your first concern is yourself.

Thanks for putting all this so well.